“Don’t be a smartass.”
“But you like when I’m a smartass, Sir. Makes me less boring to be around, right?”
“Gotta have some way of keeping you interested, and my smartass-ery seems to be the best way so far. Well, that and your enjoyment of seeing how much I can take before I break, right?”
“…That’s hardly equivalent.”
“They’re my freshly made cinnamon buns, Sir. They’re just slightly better than throwing people in front of buses. Though if you want, I can throw in some liquor filled chocolate truffles?” Cheerleader girlfriend on eternal period, after all. Chocolate might placate him… for now.
Facebook had a point. Wifi thought for a moment and shrugged, finding himself a chair that didn’t reek of alcohol and promptly threw himself in it as he waited for the other male to finish the shower.
Really, he wondered what all the fuss was about. He didn’t come all the way down here to deal with an alcoholic. But anyway, he could leave the questioning for later when his subject was less smelly.
He tried to prolong the shower, but knew if he was in here too long, Wifi would come in to get him, and he would not be kind. He’d be furious for having to wet his clothes as he dragged Facebook out by his hair, and then he’d just make whatever punishment he came here to inflict on Facebook so much worse.
He sighed, turning off the water and grabbing a towel, throwing on his change of clothes and walking out, toweling at his hair. There was never a visit from Wifi without an ulterior motif. He might as well ask. “So, Sir, what can I help you with?”
“If either of us should be upset, it should be me, Wiki. Look at me though. Listen to what I’m saying. I’m not upset with you, Wiki. I don’t blame you. So stop blaming yourself. Please. It wasn’t your fault.”
Wifi rolled his eyes again. This new born looked fairly… clueless. He watched Facebook struggled to stand up, wobbled around with his noodle legs and smirked, “You will learn to not give me orders.” He said and reached out a leg to trip the other. “But just for the sake of future convenience, I will explain,” he opened his arms in a rather graceful manner for such a mean man, “It means I’m the final authority. It means you better try to please me and not upset me. It means I can make your life much better or I can give you hell, and either way you will have to suck it up.” That actually sounded nothing different than a bully. Until the last, and finally the most important sentence came out: “—Because you just cannot live without me.”
The Facebook was caught unaware by the look the other was giving him, and then suddenly there was the sensation of falling, his legs being knocked clean out from under him and he slammed against the floor painfully, his head knocking against the wall, and he heard his processors groan, his tech not prepared to react to such a blatant attack on his person. He touched the back of his head gingerly, hissing and looking at the man who’d done this to him with wide eyes.
“W-why are you doing this? Why me?” he asked, shrinking under the other’s gaze. He curled up, trying to protect from further attack.
…to ruin people’s lives.
“So it’s just another day in the life of you, Sir?”
I would like to see someone get run over by a bus.
“How about a nice batch of cinnamon buns instead?”
“Glad that you realize that.” Wifi smiles, although it looks somewhat threatening, at Facebook, reaches out a hand to pat the man’s cheek, “And please, now, don’t pretend like you didn’t enjoy it… when I punish you.” She grins devilishly.
He smiled just slightly when she patted his cheek, finding that even though Wifi was a girl now, (s)he was no less terrifying. And no less gorgeous. Really. He doubted there was any form Wifi had that could be anything less than stunning. Well… maybe a dismembered dick, or an asshole. But he didn’t think anyone could pull that look off, really. “… Of course I do. But I would think you would use this opportunity to come up with some kind of new method of punishment that takes advantage of the temporary gender swap.”
He didn’t like it that much when Facebook made the move all of a sudden, though he didn’t reject either. The other deserved a little award for getting him a new car… I mean a new modem, he supposed. Wifi thinks he’s being so very generous to let Facebook kiss him in his manner, and remains still as the kiss goes on.
Facebook wished Wifi would kiss him back, but he knew he was already pushing his luck by initiating the kiss in the first place. So he just let the kiss linger a moment longer before he pulled away. “Sorry for kissing you without permission, Sir,” he said before the other could get the chance to scold him.
“But not sorry for kissing you,” he added quickly.